Whilst she’ll be appearing at midnight from Thursdays to Sundays during the Fringe with her Celebrity Sleepover chat show, during the day, Gemma will be getting her quips out with a brand new solo show with a topic close to everyone’s heart.
Tell us a little bit about your show – where’s it happening, what’s it about, why should people come to see it?
Gemma Goggin: Double G – is about boobs. Boobs, boobs and more boobs. Famous ones, historical ones, big ones and small ones. How we got them, what we should do with them (sexually, non sexually, and in terms of lingerie…..), and why we should love them all. And what’s not to love? It’s a show for the gentlemen and for the ladies. That is why people should come and see it. Come and embrace the breast.
It’s on at 2.45 every day at The Gilded Balloon, in the Turret.
What are you most looking forward to about coming back to Edinburgh?
Ahhh. So many things. Vowing to walk up Arthur’s Seat each year and never quite making it. Retreating to the Missoni for an espresso martini when it all gets a little much. Learning to love your audience of 15 as much as your audience of 50, and hoping they learn to love you back…..! Planning to have an early night, and finding yourself being kicked out of the Gilded Balloon bar at 5 in the morning, only to return a few hours later to do your show.
Flyering until you have lost the will to live. Not having inflatable dolls this year is going to be an added bonus. Though I may yet have an inflatable bed. And a lot of bras. So I fear a raid of the props cupboard is still a threat.
What’s been your favourite / funniest Edinburgh Fringe experience so far?
Roy Walker cupped my a**e last year. Am I allowed to say that? That was pretty funny. And we booked out a restaurant so that men could come and speed date me. The restaurant was not entirely overrun, but we did get a free supper….
From the slim pickings, I got offered a threesome, and I got serenaded. Both of which were equally disturbing. In prep for this year’s show, going and getting fitted for a corset in Rigby and Peller was pretty special. And attempting to place my boobs on standard weighing scales and get an accurate reading, all in the name of research, was perhaps a tad foolish.
If money was no object, what publicity stunt would you do to promote your show?
I’d quite like to roll down the Royal Mile, or indeed Arthur’s Seat, in a breast shaped and painted Zorb. Providing the nipple didn’t obstruct smooth rolling. I say that, I get car sick quite easily, so I’m not sure it would be wise. But it would be quite cool. Especially if we could get it to squirt out milk as it rolled…..
I’d also quite like an en masse bra fitting or flash mob to hit Bravissimo or Marks and Spencers – so that the people of Edinburgh, and those who visit, get to know their breasts, the breasts of their loved ones, and the breasts of their forefathers. Or mothers. Or both.
Who else are you planning or hoping to see?
Margaret Cho. Adam Riches. Phil Nichol. Pajama Men. Ten Plagues at The Traverse.
What do you have planned for after the Fringe?
Sleep. And a little holiday. And a lot of sex. Probably not in that order. Paid gigs – that’s what I’d like after Edinburgh. So that I don’t have to offer sexual services to the manager of HSBC for the second year in a row. If my mother is reading, that’s not really true Mother. It was Natwest.
Or to be signed up by Loose Women, or Channel 4. Or any other gainful employer who wants a slightly inappropriate, moderately bright, and considerably busty woman to front their venture. I am open to all offers.
Sum up your show in three words for us
Breasts. Breasts. Breasts.
Gemma Goggin: Double G is at the Gilded Balloon from 3-28 Aug (not 22) at 14:45. More details are on the Fringe website.